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List maintenance instructions can be found at the end of this ezine. öÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖöo - Hello there . . . - Inside Story - Of Birds and Bees - eNonyMouse - more about women - Feeling a Little Camera Shy
…you with the stars in your eyes, a grasshopper brain and thoughts without boundaries… (I am, of course, addressing those who did not rush along to Topica and press 'delete' because you either thought or hoped I was dead because of the long silence. Due to some people's rash actions our subscriber list has shrunk somewhat so, please, pass this issue on to any like minded lunatics who might enjoy reading it. You never know - they might even subscribe.). Without a doubt Griselda will be giving a blow by blow account in Inside Story of what has been happening in the last four months (she's so predictable). So I'll get on with this issue which I've enjoyed putting together because the articles have amused and inspired me. Debbie Rodgers talks about building a house for visiting birds in Fly Away Home - which reminded me of all the birds I've never thought of accommodating properly, and made me think of some of the awkward situations I've been in, thanks to our avian friends. Birds and Bees includes most of the ghastly details. As I've said before one thing leads to another. While I was concentrating on 'little people with feathers' a Pearls & Pigs subscriber forwarded an excerpt from the Birds and Blooms online newsletter - see Not Just a Winter Treat. I never knew birds liked suet but now that I'm better informed I'm definitely going to try some of these recipes Melvin Durai's Feeling a Little Camera Shy? almost provoked another outpouring, which I've put on hold for now, and I found Stephanie West Allen's Gifts From Your Inner Donkey quite delightful. Probably because I'm a natural Eeyore - full of gloom, doom and snide comments. I've spent years of my life trying to be bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and optimistic, just like Pollyanna, so I may not have the nerve to follow Stephanie's advice and enjoy a few Eeyore moments. I'm so brainwashed by the positive thinkers that I believe the sky really would fall in if I deliberately did that! However an Eeyore day could give rise to interesting situations. If you're brave enough to try one, why not write about it for a future issue of 'Pearls & Pigs'? I'd like to include more contributions from readers.... My email address is included in List Mechanics at the end of each issue. öÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖöo NEWBIES, NERDS & NITWITS VISIT the website - read the most recent issues - To view all previous issues click on: öÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖöo I HAVE been instructed to keep this short. As you know she does this occasionally in an attempt to muzzle me. You cannot imagine how I have suffered in the months we have been out of touch. In February Sheldene's computer went into a freezing frenzy, like every two minutes, which meant we could'nt do anything otherthan download email - and that wasn't easy. Sometimes I had to reconnect three times to retrieve ten messages. Of course her attitude was at all times unhelpful. Anyone would think I had broken the PC personally. However in the last two weeks the heat has been taken off and she now has, inevitably, another conspiracy theory. I think I have mentioned before that Sheldene has a tame computer technician. He was no doubt sick and tired of being called in because of her problem computer so he suggested about a year ago that she upgrade it. As she refused to get a new one he persuaded her to buy, with his help, a new motherboard and various other pieces - which are still sitting at the top of her cupboard. Whenever he suggested replacing the motherboard etc Sheldene refused because she might lose some of the junk stored on the computer. So the freezing every half hour - and the whining - continued. In February disaster struck (as I've explained the PC was virtually useless), and the said technician was strangely reluctant to come anywhere near it. He promised - but became sick.. Sheldene tried everything she could think of - probably making a bad situation worse - and in the process began behaving as if she was more demented than usual. By the end of March she would leave the room, screaming, if anyone mentioned a computer - especially one that worked. Then two weeks ago our techie recovered from his serious illness (because he is about to move to Cape Town, I think). He came to see Sheldene because he needed to do some banking urgently and his internet connection was down 'Of course you can TRY and use my computer', Sheldene said haughtily. 'I hope you enjoy it when it freezes the instant you connect to your bank.' Then she stamped out, but stayed close enough to be able to hear and enjoy his frustrated cursing. It didn't happen. After a while he emerged, said thank you, he'd managed alright,but he must rush off... Sheldene was extremely put out. Since then her computer has been behaving exceptionally well - and instead of being grateful she's tying herself in knots trying to work out what the techie did.The only certainty is that whatever that was it was something he didn't choose to do before. within all the rhetoric- Ed.) öÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖöo CONFUSED BY EMAIL? öÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖöo WOULD you be surprised, or simply disgusted, if I confessed to once employing water cannon tactics in order to recapture a love bird? Needless to say this was a last resort. My children had been chasing the annoying bird for hours and hawks were circling above, waiting for us to retire defeated. Somewhere I'd read that birds with soaked feathers can't fly properly. So, when all else failed, I sent for the hosepipe and, shreiking with glee, we scampered about attempting to drench the escapee. As the hosepipe was tethered and the bird wasn't, both grass and pursuers were waterlogged long before we achieved our objective. However, at last he settled on top of the aviary, within reach. These so-called lovebirds resemble miniature parrots with brilliant green plumage and rosy cheeks. They look sweet enough but have nasty, bullying natures. My husband, the family bird fancier, introduced several into an aviary stocked with budgies and the love birds' behaviour was frightful right from the start. The budgies were tossed out of the nesting boxes and if they persisted in laying an egg the love birds destroyed it. Although the budgies outnumbered the love birds and were much the same size, the newcomers ruled the roost. Jack the crow was the next bird to enter our orbit. He slept in my son's bedroom and when Adrian was at home he sat on his shoulder most of the time. Otherwise Jack flew around the garden and kept us amused with his antics. Unfortunately this intelligent and humorous bird ventured too far one day and returned home very distressed. We watched Jack's death throes helplessly and could only conclude that he had ingested some farmer's fertilizer. Shortly afterwards Adrian found an orphan owl which also resided in his bedroom. What a nightmare. Although too young to fly the owlet's talons were well developed - and he liked to use them. He never moved from the wooden railing at the head of the bed. Always threatening and unfriendly he only altered his stance slightly to gobble food. At first he scorned the meat we offered and was on the edge of starvation when we discovered that owls prefer steak wrapped in fur. As we weren't about to supply live mice, Adrian had to beg for hair clippings from the local barber. After several months and many attempts we persuaded this unpleasant lodger to leave. He nested in the stable yard, recognisable by his awful glare, but resolutely ignored us. Our next trick was to erect a pigeon house for four white fantails. Soon we were the proud owners of a flock of little fantails - and then the bees struck. Gentle pigeons are no match for angry African bees and the birds fled. The garden wasn't nearly so attractive without them so we persuaded a beekeeper to remove the swarm and bought more fantails. Within weeks another gang of bees decided the pigeon cote was really a hive. Waving a sad farewell to our displaced fantails we had to get used to being harrassed by bees. As I was denied ornamental pigeons I replaced them with two pairs of peacocks who adorned the lawn and kept it free of insects. Haughty to begin with the peacocks eventually followed us around and if we stayed inside they pecked at the windows. The two males paraded on the verandah and displayed their splendid tails while admiring themselves in the panes of glass. At night they climbed the tallest tree and on one occasion saved the neighbourhood from instant incineration by rousing us with their raucous cries when some vacant land caught fire. In spite of this a neighbour, Mr Burns, mounted a hate campaign against them. Peacocks are quiet, except during the breeding season when they screech incessantly. There were other peacocks in the area but Mr Burns chose to focus on mine and phoned us at 3 am: 'I'm coming to shoot those peacocks', he snarled. 'Feel free", I said. 'I'll be waiting for you with my revolver.' We didn't own a gun but I leapt out of bed anyway and spent two hours pacing through the house while the peacocks continued making a dreadful noise. At 5am I presented myself at the nearest police station in order to get my complaint in first. Two police officers attempted to hear me out but the air was alive with the sound of excited peacocks. 'Are those your peacocks?', one of the policemen asked wearily. 'Of course not, I live miles away'. It was obvious I had nothing to fear from a police force who had learned to live with their own amorous peacock problem. However after that we began herding our peacocks into an empty chicken run at night as they were at their loudest when settled in the tree. One morning we found the peacocks torn to pieces - savaged by some marauding animal while they were confined - and my hatred for Mr Burns was without limits. I thought about getting bantams or guinea fowl but eventually common sense prevailed as our record as bird keepers was abysmal. Now we feed the wild variety, while keeping our distance. Fortunately the small mammals we lavish with affection manage to survive. Copyright © 2003 Sheldene Chant öÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖöo PLEASE FORWARD Pearls & Pigs to friends, but when doing öÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖöo PLEASE RATE THIS EZINE Please rate this Ezine at the Cumuli Ezine Finder Editor´s note: When you click to rate us please make öÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖöo eNonyMouse species. Learning the language might help. FINE FIVE MINUTES NOTHING GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows) GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows) LOUD SIGH SOFT SIGH THAT´S OKAY PLEASE DO THANKS THANKS A LOT öÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖöo FREE TUTORIALS BY AUTORESPONDER If you are thinking about making your own web page, or öÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööOoo I'VE had some pretty embarrassing moments in my life, most of which I would never disclose in public, even if Oprah begged me. Thank goodness I'm part of the older generation: Most of my embarrassments occurred before ordinary people got their hands on video cameras. My mother didn't follow me around with a camera, trying to record my first bath, first date, first arrest. These days, video cameras are everywhere. Some men can't seem to leave home without their cameras, taking them on every trip, even to the maternity ward. Pregnant wife: 'Honey, haven't you forgotten something?' Husband: 'My zoom lens? My tripod? My extra battery?' Wife: 'No, silly. Your pants!' The other day, at the airport, I saw a man videotaping his wife's arrival from a trip abroad. Did he hug her? Of course not. That might have damaged the camera. (It was a Sony, for heaven's sake!) I have good reason to fear this camera-happy trend. Years ago, at a friend's wedding, a camera recorded me looking around at the guests -- right in the middle of the prayer. You would think someone would have had the decency, during a prayer, to close the camera's eye. Try as I might, I can't seem to get away from video cameras. That's because some of my close friends have had cameras surgically implanted into their shoulders. They've filmed me so many times, I could probably join the Screen Actors Guild (SAG). (Of course, if I told my wife I had joined a group called SAG, she'd wonder which of my body parts qualified me.) At least a couple of my camera-toting friends seem to be invited to every party I go to. This makes me self-conscious. Whenever I'm burping, scratching or picking my nose, they're pointing their cameras at me. Someone needs to teach them manners. Surely Miss. Manners or Emily Post has something to say about this. These women need to make some social rules about video cameras. Here's a good start: Before filming anyone, you must observe proper etiquette and request their permission by kissing their feet. If this doesn't work, you must offer to wash their cars or baby-sit their children. Such rules would have kept me out of many amateur movies. In some of these movies, I'm just sitting on a chair, eating food or chatting with a friend, trying hard not to exhibit any deviant behavior. I'm not sure why someone found this interesting enough to record. Perhaps I just don't have the sharp eye of a movie producer. A few months ago, I was at a friend's place, chatting with his mother-in-law, when out popped his video camera. No warning whatsoever, not even a quick 'Action!' I can only guess what this particular movie will be called: 'The Visitor Who Dared to Talk to the Mother-in-law'. But don't get me wrong. Video cameras do have their place - and not just to catch Winona. I don't mind seeing them at special events like weddings, which occur only about twice in a lifetime. Without the videotape, how are you supposed to remember your first wedding? © Copyright 2003 Melvin Durai. All Rights Reserved. Öö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖöo Welcome Our Feathered Friends IN much of North America, this is the time when songbirds are returning from their winter 'vacations' and setting up housekeeping for the summer season. What can you do to invite our feathered friends to make their homes near your outdoor living space? Provide them with the three basics: food, water and shelter. When you think of homes for birds, you may automatically picture little wooden birdhouses painted bright colours or a many-holed martin house on a tall pole. But many, if not most, birds prefer to make their homes in trees and shrubbery, rather than in enclosed houses. Some larger birds such as hawks or owls prefer nesting platforms. Those who will use a man-made house are just as picky as human homebuyers – it must be 'just right' for them! But even if you are confined to a city balcony, you can encourage chickadees, nuthatches and other small birds to visit you, by making or purchasing them a home. Here are some do's and don'ts: * DO look for durable construction from such materials as cedar or cypress wood, or from pine or exterior grade plywood that has been painted on the outside. * DON'T use oil-based paints on the outside, and never use stain, paint or any other finish on the inside of the house. * DON'T use a metal roof. It will absorb sunlight and heat the house to unusable temperatures. A wooden roof is best. * DO leave ventilation holes for air circulation and temperature control. Look for a 1" gap under the side eaves, or drill ¼" holes all around the top edge of the walls. * DON'T forget about drainage. Even the best-constructed houses can take in water during a storm. Either cut or drill ¼" holes in each corner and near the middle of the floor. * DO be sure to make the house the proper size to attract the birds that you want. (See How Big? below) * DON'T waste your time on fancy paint jobs – they make the house more attractive to you, but not as safe for the occupants. The best colors are tan, gray or sage green. Remember – don't paint the inside! * DO give the occupants a foothold by either roughing up the wood surface, or carving grooves just below the entry (inside and out). * DON'T put a perch outside the entry hole – it just gives predators somewhere to wait for dinner. * DO rub the inside of the roof with bar soap to help prevent insect infestations. * DON'T put more than one birdhouse in an area less than 100 ft square, unless they are intended for different species. Birds like to keep a little privacy from their neighbors too! * DO use a metal pole, or some other guard to keep away squirrels and other rodents. Our own home goes beyond the physical structure in which we live, and so does a bird's. If you can, grow a variety of plants around your porch or patio to provide nesting sites, winter shelter, places to hide from predators, and natural year-round food supplies. To help out the numerous species that prefer to nest in trees, you can hang out mesh bags of dryer lint, yarn or loose cotton balls. Welcome our feathered friends to your outdoor space and they will reward you many times over with their antics and sweet songs. Perhaps they will even teach us, as Ralph Waldo Emerson penned, 'courage, and probity, and grace!' How big? To make a home for chickadees, nuthatches or downy woodpeckers: * floor 4"x4'" Öö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖöo We are pleased to be members of the Ezine Publishers öÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖöo
(This appeared in the Birds and Blooms newsletter) 'MANY PEOPLE think suet is strictly a wintertime treat for birds,' writes Pam F. from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. 'But I offer it to birds in summer, too, in a different form--I make suet dough.' Suet dough doesn't melt in warmer temperatures because it has cornmeal and flour mixed in, Pam explains. That raises the melting point. 'It's been very successful. I have so much fun watching the chickadees and nuthatches...I've even seen a red-bellied woodpecker take chunks of suet dough to feed to its young waiting patiently in a nearby tree.' Pam adds that rendered suet (suet that has been melted and then cooled) will also help prevent a melted mess in warm climates. Gwen N. of Lillian, Alabama says the suet dough recipe she follows is an all-time favorite of her backyard visitors. 'It's called 'Summer Suet', but I use it year-round,' she says. 'It's easy to make. Just melt 1 cup lard with 1 cup crunchy peanut butter over low heat. Stir in 1/3 cup sugar and mix well with 1 cup whole wheat flour, 2 cups oatmeal and 2 cups cornmeal. 'You can add raisins, nuts or birdseed for variety,' Gwen notes. After combining all the ingredients, Gwen pours the mixture into a pan and chills it overnight. Then she cuts it into squares for easy use and storage. 'Put a square in your suet basket and you'll have birds galore,'
she says. To subscribe on-line, visit BirdsAndBlooms.com öÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖöo or A PHILOSOPHER WITH VERY BIG EARS EEYORE is Winnie the Pooh's cloudy, overcast, glum little donkey friend. He never lets Pooh's optimism sway him. He remains a funny killjoy, an amusing wet blanket. His predictable misery has earned him many fans. And the donkey has a gift for you. Read on. Ernest H. Shepard has written a wonderful and witty book called _Eeyore's Gloomy Little Instruction Book_. In the book are some classic and typical Eeyore sayings. For example:- 'Do join in the search for a lost friend-or-relation. But don't be surprised when nobody bothers to tell you he's been found, and you search on alone for two days.' Poor Eeyore. Ever feel like that? 'There are those who will wish you a good morning. If it is a good morning which is doubtful.' Remind you of any of your mornings? AH, WOE IS ME 'Don't be surprised if it hails a good deal tomorrow. Blizzards and what-not. Being fine today doesn't Mean Anything. It's just a small piece of weather.' Starting to get in touch with your inner Eeyore? 'If you've been invited to a party, it's probably a mistake. Make sure they don't blame you if it rains.' By now, you may be asking, 'Is this article I am reading supposed to be uplifting and cheery?' Yep, it sure is. Eeyore can bring you one of the best days ever. THERE'S GOLD IN THE GLOOM Most of us have an inner Eeyore. To indulge it can bring release and laughter and freedom. To be the absolute worst whatever-it- is-you-want-to-be lets loose in you a power that has been spent in resisting it. A power that brings many benefits. You give yourself permission to break the rules. Such a sweet honesty surfaces. Trying to be a constantly upbeat, optimistic person? One reliable path to your goal is to become dramatically the opposite. Ignore all the blissful affirmations and joyful self-talk -- just for a short time. You will find gold in the opposite. That may be why Eeyore has so many fans. AND TODAY . . . Have some Eeyore moments. Don't be mildly glum and gloomy. Give it your all. Be a theatrical, spectacular Drama Queen or King. You must be the exact and true opposite of the lighthearted and up person you want to be. If you have heard Eeyore's voice in a movie or video, you know how the donkey talks. Talk like Eeyore, too. Being the opposite, the Eeyore, is fun. It is hard not to laugh when you are Eeyore-ing. Please give it a try. You get some giggles and a sharper focus on the kind of positive person you want to be. Playing the opposite somehow gives you that focus. I have to leave you now to go make my coffee. Do you think my coffee beans were on sale because they were somehow defective? The store was out of unbleached filters. Will my bleached ones harm me? Then I'll read the paper; it will be full of awful news. At least, I will have my coffee. Wonder where I get one of those testers to make sure my coffee mug doesn't have lead in it? By now, I am having a great time. My inner Eeyore makes me howl with laughter. Go forth now, and have several Eeyore moments today. It will be a memorable, valuable -- and positive -- day. No doubt about it. ©Copyright 2002 Stephanie West Allen öÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖoo FREE EZINESFind hundreds of quality, FREE Ezines at the Cumuli Ezine Finder öÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖoo Copyright 2003 Poignant Pearls & Potbellied Pigs öÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖöo LIST MECHANICS TO JOIN: Please send a BLANK email to VIEW PREVIOUS ISSUES AT - CONTACT INFO: Sheldene Chant (Publisher), 6 Strapp öÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖo |
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