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         - Hello there . . .

         - Inside Story

         - We Joined The Bandarlog...

         - The Silent Victims of Divorce

         - eNonyMouse - best bumper stickers

         - Summertime...
                  Butterfly Garden Basics
                  Moments in May

         - Being a Pack Rat 'Hurts' in Ways You Don´t Realize

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…you with the stars in your eyes, a grasshopper brain and thoughts without boundaries…

It's the time of year when I become jealous of everyone living in the Northern Hemisphere...because you are going into summer while I prepare for winter! Here I am sitting in long woollen socks and my witchlike pashmina while you plan picnics and so forth.

Alright...I'll admit it doesn't get very cold on the coast of KwaZuluNatal. It's 23 degrees Centigrade today (73.4 F) but our houses are not designed to hold in the heat. It might be quite nice outside but inside I'm miserable...

Hence the Summer Fes in this issue. Deborah Shelton tells us how to attract butterflies in Butterfly Garden Basics, while Arlene M. Kaptur, in Moments in May, conjures up visions of smooth lawns, tinkling glasses and delicious dainties. However don't expect anything mundane, like recipes, because this is strictly inspirational.

Still on the Spring and Summer theme, Jan Tincher suggests you unsettle the dust which is gathering in all your favourite hiding places...and believe me this works. A couple of years ago I caught the Feng Shui bug and my husband and I bundled up half we owned (during our clean sweep) and gave it away. It was miraculous.

Come to think of it, things have been stagnating lately so it may be time to do this again. Read Being a Pack Rat Hurts in Ways You Don't Even Realise and perhaps you too will be encouraged to de-clutter your world.

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FOR the first time I'm the one holding up the works. Everything except this article is 'ready to roll' - I quote. Honestly, anyone who didn't know better would think, listening to this ridiculous woman, that she was in charge of some national daily complete with the world's largest printing press.

Our high-powered editor is crouched in the next room, peering at her computer through two sets of glasses - normal for Sheldene so hardly worth mentioning. Surprisingly for someone so beady eyed, she is extremely short sighted but hates to admit this.

I had only been here a few days when someone asked her to look at a ship out at sea -only to be informed that she couldn't because 'I don't have my eyes in...'

That was when I discovered she wore contact lenses ...sometimes. I now know life is a lot more pleasant when she is without them because I'm spared the angry muttering about the state of her skin, the filth in the house, etc etc.

And of course she has other visual aids including a pair of dark prescription sunglasses, which she wears at night, in the rain, or while watching TV.

Sheldene reads a lot but seems to have a problem with close print - if she is using her contact lenses. So she bought a pair of horrid little granny glasses at the chemist, but most of the time she just takes the contact lenses out as for some strange reason she can read quite well without them.

However the granny glasses are still well worth the few cents she paid for them as she uses them, in tandem with the dark glasses, at the computer.

It's all very complicated. The granny glasses are useless without the contact lenses, and the dark glasses are not suitable for reading. Although Sheldene can see the computer screen, providing she leans forward and sticks her head out, this hurts her neck and we all suffer. However my boss is not easily defeated.

You see she had this brilliant idea. First of all she put the granny glasses in front of the dark glasses, and bound the frames together with Sellotape - which more or less worked in a lopsided fashion.

Then one day Sheldene experienced another flash of brilliance. She put the small glasses on first and the larger dark glasses on top of them - with no tape - thereby solving the problem.

Casual visitors used to find the dark glasses hard to handle - you see no-one in this household ever explains anything - and I can tell they find two pairs of spectacles worn at once equally startling. To date, however, no-one has had the nerve to comment.

But that's not the end of this saga. I've just remembered there are two other sets of glasses. How could I forget the ultra smart normal sunglasses....and the heavy duty horrors which she wears in the sea?

The latter are another of Sheldene's bargain buys and she wears these to protect her contact lenses from the waves when she's swimming. A piece of string attached to each 'arm' hangs around her neck - to prevent the awful sunglasses being swept away when the surf is rough.

Of course she looks like hell but neither Keith nor I breathe a word because she was at one stage threatening to get swimming goggles - and then she really would resemble a frog.

By the way the little bird, Wobbler, is still dining with the dogs, dangerously. He has been identified as an African Wagtail, usually found near rivers and lagoons, but the book didn't say anything about a passion for minced meat.

In case you're interested, Cape Wagtails, are apparently found all over Southern Africa, but African Wagtails are much more uncommon.

You didn't for one moment expect us to be hobnobbing with any old bird, did you?

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*More About Pookie

IT was amazing how quickly and easily Pookie, the teenage Vervet monkey, adapted to our lifestyle and settled in as one of the family.

Or shall I be honest and state it was astonishing how rapidly, albeit painfully, the Chants became part of the Bandarlog, or to put it simply, members of a troupe?

For Pookie was no slouch when it came to summing up situations - especially to his benefit. I would say that by noon on his very first day with us, Pookie had worked out exactly who was who in this particular zoo.

He instinctively knew the Alpha male basically wished him ill - and wanted to send him back to the SPCA. But this didn't matter because he wasn't around much and Pookie was willing to grant grudging respect (the man was, after, all so damn big).

Adrian, our eldest son, was in human terms on a par with this adolescent monkey. From the start he was Pookie's advocate, protector and friend. The monkey was the latest in a long line of small animals which Adrian adopted and nurtured, and this time an instant rapport had been established within the first two minutes.

The pair ate, slept, swam, hunted and played together for the next three or four years and even at his most nasty Pookie never turned on Adrian - until the very end.

There was, however, one little blot on the horizon, namely Llewelyn. Six years younger than Adrian and tucked away in the middle of the family, Llewelyn had been Adrian's right-hand man since birth, and like all good squire's Adrian made sure his trusty page had very little time on his hands. Which suited Llewelyn just fine - but now there was Pookie.

I can't remember the circumstances exactly but I know Llewelyn received the first bite, and the reign of terror began.

Now that Pookie, Adrian and Llewelyn shared a bedroom the monkey lost no time asserting his supremacy with regard to Llewelyn and, foolishly, I thought this would all sort itself out, given time.

The two girls thought the monkey was 'sweet' - Chants are conditioned to like animals - but wisely kept their distance and their bedroom door shut. Naturally our daughters collected a few nips along the way but I can't recall any major bloodletting.

That was reserved mainly for Llewelyn - and I. Still secretly delighted to have this opportunity to rear a monkey, I groaned a bit and told my friends it was all a slight pain.

My best friend, and the children's unofficial godmother, roared she was never, ever, going to visit us again.

It totally escaped me that we were setting up a relationship with a wild animal - who would always be wild when the chips were down. I was fascinated by the delicacy of his tiny fingers, the workings of his facile brain and saddened that this 'semi-human' would forever remain just beyond the pale.

Monkeys, to my mind, are the real dispossessed, forever pushed aside to make room for man, with whom they share so many attributes.

So I was an absolute pushover and Pookie knew this. Not that my sympathetic leanings earned me any marks for good conduct because I remained high on his hit list. Perhaps he resented my somewhat dictatorial attitude towards his greatest friend.

Thanks, no doubt, to the strictures put upon him by Adrian, Llewelyn was a particularly nice and helpful little boy. He constantly turned the other cheek - and boy, did he have to.

When he was three we had a flock of geese that put their heads down, hissed, flapped their wings and gave chase, whenever Llewelyn appeared. He used to run for his life regularly - a constant source of amusement to his family and everyone else on the farm.

And then there were two Dalmatians, not ours, who jumped on Llewelyn without warning, and ripped his pyjamas to shreds. No wonder the poor child was nervous….

…And no wonder we were accustomed to seeing Llewelyn dash past the picture windows, again and again and again, with some form of wildlife in hot pursuit.

So what was new? Nothing apart from the fact that this this time he was being terrorised by a long-tailed primate.

My own personal learning curve was just beginning. I was away most of the day while Pookie prowled around, getting up to mischief and waiting for Adrian to return from school. Llewelyn had just started kindergarten, so he too got some respite.

On Fridays I came home early but every other week day got back just in time for dinner. Afterwards I rushed off to bed, usually ahead of the children, in order to read, in peace.

This particular Friday afternoon I had lashed out on my first pot of really expensive anti-ageing cream (I was 33). Cradling it lovingly, I sat on the bed reading all the manufacturer's lies. Then plop, Pookie landed beside me and we sat for a while, companionably admiring the magic jar.

I placed the pot on the bedside table and Pookie picked it up. He seemed to be treating it far too casually - it cost a king's ransom - and omigod he was going to throw it on the floor.

With a reflex movement I put my hand out to save ithe jar and Pookie sank his fangs in with a vengeance, and was immediately transformed into a gibbering, threatening fiend.

And there ended the first lesson. Do not reach for something a monkey has touched because it belongs to him, even if he is about to discard it. In fact, don't even look at it if you know what's good for you.

Not used to such drastic treatment I became, like Llewelyn, quite timid. After dinner, I would sneak quietly along a lengthy corridor to bed, leaving the rest of the family watching television.

No matter how furtively I left, Pookie always noticed and came after me. Oh what bliss to be in bed with a book - but now I was in bed with a book and a monkey.

We would cast sideways glances at each other while sharing the pillow, and all would be well as long as I was quiet and good.

Of course I couldn't relax and would soon start squeaking, 'Keith, Adrian, Keith, Adrian" - which they couldn't possibly hear, because I was a long way off and the television was blaring.

That too was allowed.

It was only when I lost my nerve and started shouting loudly that the fanged monster struck - at my cheek usually. I began to fear I would be scarred for life.

So I had to remain very passive and well-behaved until either Keith or Adrian decided to go to bed, thereby putting an end to my misery.

Llewelyn and I began to develop nervous twitches but I am not in the habit of embarking on something and then giving in easily. In any event what could one possibly do?

We now knew this monkey, personally. And Adrian would have been heartbroken had their been any attempt to return to normality.

Copyright 2000 Sheldene Chant

*The previous article about Pookie can be found in the
April issue at - see the link at the top of this 'page'

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DIVORCE can be painful, as a middle-aged Spanish man discovered recently. After he and his wife split, the man was devastated, because he had developed a close relationship, quite naturally, with his wife's dog.

Luckily for him, a divorce court judge in southeast Spain understood his despair and granted him visitation rights. The man now gets to spend 'quality time' with his beloved pooch on weekends, which seems a fair arrangement. Divorce should never come in the way of a good relationship.

Jose Luis Gonzalez, the man's attorney, told the Associated Press that the verdict is a victory for animal rights. 'It shows that a dog is not just an object,' he said. Indeed, objects are treated quite differently in court.

Man: 'Please, your honor, I'm very attached to it. I will miss it dearly.'

Judge: 'Sorry, Mr. Davis, I've decided to rule in favor of your ex-wife. You may not have visitation rights to the big-screen TV. I don't care if football season is almost here.'

As a man who loves his TV, I can sympathize with men separated from their Sonys and Panasonics. It can leave a big void in your life, an immense feeling of emptiness that makes you regret even thinking about divorce. But dogs are different, because dogs will love you back, especially if you are holding something that looks like food. Such as an old shoe.

The verdict in Spain is not necessarily a victory for animal rights. After all, the judge heard statements from the divorced couple, but did not attempt to get the dog's opinion. What if the dog didn't want to spend weekends with the man? What if it wanted to spend weekends with the cute mutt next door?

At a minimum, the judge should have placed the dog between the man and a fire hydrant and let it show its preference.

It's important to consider the feelings of dogs and other pets, because they're often the innocent victims of divorce. One day the dog is lounging on the couch with the husband, the next day both the husband and the couch have disappeared. The dog is soon moping about, asking itself, 'Where is the couch? I miss it so much. I bet that crazy man stole it.'

Yes, divorce can be a traumatic experience for a pet. That's why some couples stay together just for the pets. (And you thought it was for the children!)

Couples who can't avoid divorce are left with a major concern: how to stay in touch with the pets. With children, visitation is usually possible -- and so are phone calls and email. But most pets, unfortunately, have not received the proper training to use telephones and computers. Even India, President Bush's female cat, is rather slow in answering my emails. (She keeps biting off the darn mouse.)

It shouldn't seem strange, then, that a man would request visitation rights to his ex-wife's dog. The bond between a human and a dog can be stronger than that between two humans. Just ask my wife, who is so attached to a Labrador named Indy, she can't imagine life without him. And Indy doesn't even belong to us. (He works as a janitorial assistant in my wife's office, ensuring that all the floors are licked clean.)

Dogs like Indy are not just loving, they're also very forgiving. I can't say that about many humans.

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eNonyMouse...

1. SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.

2. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.

3. PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS     FROG.

4. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN ... SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.

5. IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.

6. NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES

7...OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.

8.. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.

9.. ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.

10. DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.

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Summertime...

CULTIVATING a special home in your yard for butterflies will introduce your children to a world of beauty and wonder. It's a project that you and your family will enjoy in the planting stages, and long after. There are five basic things to remember when planning a butterfly garden:

1. Butterflies love sunlight! Whether you choose to plant a traditional garden or a container garden, make sure that the plants are in direct sunlight for much of the day.

2. Butterflies like to 'puddle'. Your garden needs a sort of watering hole for the butterflies to drink from. This can be done by simply filling a terracotta pot or small plastic bucket with small rocks or pebbles about two inches from the brim. Add water to fill the remaining space. Place the puddle in the center of your garden.

3. Butterflies like lots of color! Group clusters of the same plant together to make them easier for butterflies to see. A group of colorful flowers attracts them easier than single flowers.

4. Butterflies love to eat nectar. Use several of these nectar- producing plants to attract them: milkweed, azalea, goldenrod, black-eyed susan, zinnia, aster, phlox, Japanese honeysuckle, ironweed. A few nectar-producing shrubs are: butterfly bush, various fruit trees, privet, lilac and redbud.

5. Butterflies need a place to lay their eggs. Witness the entire lifecycle of your new garden friend! Provide host plants where female butterflies can lay their eggs. Some host plants include: snapdragon, violets, milkweed, daisies, parsley, dill, Queen Anne's Lace, aster and clovers.
____________________________
Deborah Shelton is the author of The Five Minute Parent: Fun & Fast Activities for You and Your Little Ones. Visit The Five Minute Parent for fun rainy-day activities, family links, and a free email newsletter filled with craft ideas, guest articles, contests and so much more! FiveMinuteParent

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Summertime....

MAY has the rich promise of warm days and tantalizing nights. The stars are bright and the very smell of the air says 'New'. Winter is a thought from the past, and Summer is a hope for the future.

How about some great party ideas for this fabulous month of May? Here are some suggestions:

A MERRY MAY BREAKFAST

Grapefruit baskets, Scrambled Eggs with Green Peppers, Baked Sausages, Panfried Pineapple Slices, Sweet Rolls, Pancakes, Maple Syrup, Crushed Strawberries, and a Beverage

Table Decor: Fresh Daffodils or brightly colored tulips in pots

*****

A SPRING LADIES' TEA

Assorted miniature sandwiches on croissants, Tea or Coffee, Meringue Mushrooms, Marshmallow Baskets, and Strawberry Sherbet (Light but very gracious!)

Table Decor: Pastel flowers in clear vases with lace- trimmed scarves

*****

PRE- MEMORIAL DAY END OF YEAR DINNER
for School Officials/Committees/Employees

Creamed lobster and mushrooms on toast points, stuffed cucumbers with chicken or tuna salad, Condiment tray (olives, pickles, cocktail onions, tomato slices w/ mozzarella cheese) Strawberry Parfaits

Table Decor: Plain china plates with rich green napkins, gold napkin rings, and Crystal Goblets, Sprigs of fresh, fragrant Lilac Blooms in gold-edged vases, and gold/ white confetti around vase bases

*****

May is an inspiration in itself and it lends itself to very elegant and formal affairs. It is not too hot outside (for the comfort of your guests) and yet the gentle breezes carry a vision of June, which bursts into all those Summertime activities we all love. Let's make the most of May and truly enjoy what it has to offer.

©Arleen M. Kaptur 2002
_______________________
Arleen Kaptur is the author of numerous articles for
newspapers/magazines. Author: SEARCHING FOR AUSTIN JAMES,
as well as e-cookbooks, and on-line workshops.
Site: RusticLiving
Member: NAWW and Author's Den

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SOME people don´t realize what they are doing to themselves and their families. Are you that person? If you are familiar with Feng Shui, then you understand the title already. If you aren´t, this article is just a sample of what Feng Shui is about.

Feng Shui books will offer you more in depth study, but the purpose of this article is to alert you to the fact that if you are a pack rat, here is WHY you should do something about it, not that you HAVE to. We should always be aware of how we are helping or hurting ourselves, and how we can do more of the same if we are helping ourselves, or change it if we are hurting ourselves and/or others.

The chi or good spirit that moves through the universe is attracted to many things. If you want good chi in a certain area of your life, you will pay attention to the following and find out what you are doing to yourself and your family when you continually store things in little nooks and crannies around the house.

When things are stored in an area too long, they create stagnant chi. Stagnant chi doesn´t attract good fortune into your life. When you clean up that area, you will be able to *breathe easier* and good things have a better chance of coming into your life in *that area.* You will understand more about areas when you read about the chart you will create below.

Create this chart on paper and see if that area of your life on the chart is corresponding to that area of your life that needs help. For instance, if you have a mess in the financial area of your life, you might look at your house. In your upper left corner of the chart is the financial area. Is that room in your house a mess?

Imagine a twelve inch square. Now, section it off into 9 squares. That´s three four inch squares in three rows. Label the squares as such:

The top left square affects you in the areas of prosperity, wealth, abundance and fortunate blessings. So put in that square “Prosperity, wealth, abundance and fortunate blessings.”

The top center square affects you in areas of fame and reputation. Put “Fame and reputation” in that square.

The top right square affects you in areas of relationships, love, marriage. Put “Relationships, love, marriage” in that square.

The center left square affects you in areas of health and family. Put “Health and family” in that square.

The center square affects you in areas of your unity, your centering with the earth. Put “Unity, centering with the earth” in that square.

The center right square affects you in areas of creativity, offspring, projects. Put “Creativity, offspring, projects” in that square.

The bottom left square affects you in areas of knowledge, wisdom, self-improvement. Put “Knowledge, wisdom, self-improvement” in that square.

The bottom center square affects you in areas of career, life path, the journey. Put “Career, life path, the journey” in that square.

The bottom right square affects you in areas of helpful people, compassion, travel. Put “Helpful people, compassion, travel” in that square.

Now, look at the large square and pencil in your front door at the bottom of the square. If your house isn´t square, say it´s an L-shaped house. Then parts of your relationships and creativity squares may be missing. It is recommended to plant a tree at the junction that would make the house a square or rectangle.

Go through your home, upstairs and down, and check to see where you keep your clutter. See what happens when you remove it, or at the very least, shake the dust off. <grin>

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CONTACT INFO: Sheldene Chant (Publisher), 6 Strapp Lane, Amanzimtoti 4126, KwaZuluNatal, South Africa. Fax:27-31-9031635. email:morganne@icon.co.za . öÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖö°*º*°öÖööÖoo