MOVE to a foreign country and you will soon attempt to learn the language, become familiar with local customs, and then try to catch up with what's happening in that part of the world.

When you decide to become computer-literate and knowledgeable about the Internet, the priorities are very similar.

Unfortunately, until you catch up with the current jargon, the customs (usually called Net Etiquette), as well as current developments, you will continue to regard yourself as an outsider.

Initially it may seem overwhelming, but by changing your viewing and reading habits, slightly, it is surprising how much information you will assimilate within a short period.

While I wouldn't dare suggest you abandon your favourite TV programmes, it is a good idea to start glancing (albeit askance) at some of the 'technical' stuff you have hitherto been strenuously avoiding. At the same time force yourself to read computer related features in your local newspaper. And, instead of walking past those stacks of 'dot', '.net' and PC periodicals with a shudder, choose the least offensive one and take it home.

Don't be discouraged if it seems like gobbleddygook. Just persevere and this too will pass.

It may seem strange to be encouraging so many offline activities when you have just taken the great leap forward onto the Internet - information's super highway. However, you won't want to spend all your time glaring at a PC monitor (it's not good for you) and secondly, at this stage you probably relate far better to the printed word than you do to on-screen text

At first it was all the tips and 'tricks' that appealed to me, and I kept busy slicing up bits of paper and glueing them into large notebooks (for future reference in the year 2010, no doubt). Then I began collecting articles and other clutter, obtaining great satisfaction when I could find an answer by burrowing in these scrapbooks.

A year or so later I began opening new files in Word - called PC Manual, Writing Manual and Web Page Manual - so I could lift stuff from the Net the easy way, by cutting and pasting. These files have now reached mammoth proportions but I check them out sometimes. Furthermore I have even deleted some of this information because I can't imagine why I wanted to keep such simple, run-of-the-mill things anyway. That's progress!

If I had put half as much effort into my schoolwork I might have become a Rhodes Scholar, but 'learning' is different this time around. No-one tells me I have to do it (far from it in the case of my immediate family). This is a challenge I chose willingly and it has proved an excellent way of coping with mid-life crises, empty-nest blues, and all the other ailments I could have suffered from.

If you are at the beginning of the learning curve you will probably find this enthusiastic burbling hard to believe. But on the day you specifically go to the shops to buy the latest issue of your computer magazine (and you can't wait until nightfall to get at this bedtime reading) then it has got to you also.

Of course there will still be some articles which remain completely over your head, but don't despair. Those are the ones which cure insomnia!

Copyright 2001 Sheldene Chant All Rights Reserved